“Life is unfair?” This saying for many times comes up during my contemplation. Yeah, and when I started to fall into the trap of this saying, bad memories just followed the usual pattern, and I used to had that bad feeling to end up with. A cyclic pattern. It is, however, not the matter of that feeling, yet it is more to what unfairness amounts to me. The more I thought about it, the more confused I became. It is all about what is the best answer to my question, “why is life (sometimes) unfair?”
Well, it is called god’s secret right? Something as yet little was known about it. Something what makes people give up in despair in a stupid way. Something what every single religion taught about, that god always have something for you behind every bad thing happen, in your life. I am not going to break this faith, I am just thinking why we are not allowed to ask why. Why does unfairness happen for many times? I did not think I could ever get used to believing this, up to now.
People always said this life is short, that there will be other life wait for us. They are sometimes contemptuous of the meaning of this life because they believe in their faith. No matter how many times unfairness they undergo, they will always be grateful. And I am not that type of human-being, unfortunately. What I believe is life is the result of what you have done so far, your actions, your words, whatever you do, will be added to create your life. So it makes sense when bad people have a bad life, since his/her life is full of bad things. Life is white and black, for me. That is what my mom told about everytime I went to sleep years ago till now. In fact, it is more than that. No white, no black, and sure you have to be grey. Why? Because people will either hate you or fool you when you are white or even black. And, what are you? Black? White? Grey? Or you have your own color?
Earth, wherever you are, north or south, no matter what country you live in, is not a fairyland. It is not like what you were dreaming about when you were child, that you could do anything you want. Sure, it is a big lie. Since for me, it is all about luck. It is about unfairness. You know, a friend of mine named Bocup told me this way, “you know, everybody has their own luck. We all have the pouch of luck in life, we have the same amount of luck So, when you met people living a very lucky life, it is because he/she used up his/her luck and what you need to do when you saw it is thanking god because you still have your full luck in your pouch.” This saying has brought about calmness in my life for many years. This saying reflects Bocup’s logic, sure, his is good. He even got 80 in math when I got 75!! I still remembered that! Oh god, carry on...
However, it is (again) not about my logic, or even Bocup’s logic. Life is not that simple, moreover it is about something “God knows”. I tend to agree with that saying actually, that people have their own luck, but it is hard to believe in what bocup said that we all have the same amount of luck in life. It sounds really joyful, sure it is, but come on, I met those people and his/her luck is even getting greater I guess. For years!!! Have I to wait till he/she has no luck anymore to believe in that saying? Oh really???
My point is that I do not mind with those luck thingy, as long as they deserve it. They deserve what I think is good, or even too good. Yet what is happening does not run that way. Luck seems so bad in my eyes since I know lots of people in my life do not even deserve it. If success is measured through someone’s hard work, then why luck shoul took part in people’s life? I condemn its existence, not because I never undergo the luck itself, but because it undermines unlucky people. And I hate the luck most when I saw that unlucky people is even smarter and more deserve the chance! On the other hand, the chance is flying to the lucky people, and it changes his/her life much better than the unlucky ones have. My question is that why does He let it go that way? I will be sorry to Him in case I am wrong on the first place, but I swear it seems that way in my eyes. He has the power to not let it go that way, and yet He does let it go. Sure it goes!
Conversely, other people have different ideas toward the concept of luck. One of them is my ex-teacher, somebody I like cause her sense of fashion is good, I guess. She told me that nobody is lucky, it amounts to the antithesis of the existence of luck. She believed that anything you got or the stars you have reached is not because of luck, but it is the matter of how harder your effort to get that. It is maybe true, but she is like too much watching princess diaries and princess tv serials or disney channel’s tv programme. In the end, I just got fed up with that propagandistic saying. So easy to say, but crazily hard to believe in. Ok, just assume I believe in that while I’m trying harder to get what I want, at the same time, the lucky one did it easily, effortlessly. And it takes, of course, a long time for me to did it cause it takes time to make your effort getting harder (since we are talking on that concept, the harder your effort is, the bigger possibility you are going to have). While I am reaching that position, the lucky one has thousand steps forward, leaving me in the position where we start at the first time. In the end, the story ends up with me reaching the position I want, and the lucky one is having higher position. You choose what you prefer to!
Up to now, I am frequently (sure unintentionally as well) thinking the way my friend, Syahrial, does, that the natural chance is the root of this unbelivable-and-unthought-of-thing called luck. The natural chance itself is the term we use to describe the chance someone got naturally, like the birth of a baby in a rich family in a city or subjectively speaking, ordinary person with ordinary family but he/she has the sense of fawn, the skill of pleasing somebody by praising them or paying them too much attention. So political, I guess. Yet that is the life is full of. For instance, I was born with 200 of IQ score, and the lucky one was birth with 150 of IQ score, assume both of us have the same physical appearance and motive to reach what we want to be when we grew up (I use this term to replace the word ambition since when I was in America and I asked my host family’s little boy about his ambition, he did not answer my question. Few seconds after that my hostfam told me the way how to ask this question by saying “what you want to be when you grew up?”) but different family condition, mine is the middle class, and the lucky one’s is rich. Our ambition is being lawyer, for instance. 18 years later, I pursue my edu in Universitas Indonesia while the lucky one is in University of Harvard. After 4 years of studying in college, the story ends up with me being a lawyer in a national department in Indonesia or continuing my degree abroad to have bigger opportunity to involve in international court for example, while the lucky one is working for the United Nations. I am so depressed...*as what kurt say in a glee serial, hahaha...
Well, let’s admit it that life is beautiful for them who are lucky, and not that beautiful for the ordinary one, and bitter for the unlucky one. Life is not as beautiful as movies walt disney is used to poduce, but also is not as black as whitney’s saying “crack is whack.” Even the first black princess, Whitney Houston, is not a lucky person. 6 grammys seem so easy for now, I am wondering how many thousands grammys Whitney would have if for instance she was born in 20th century. The same case just goes the same pattern as what Agnes Monica is trying hardly to achieve now, “go international”. It is all about luck. Her voice is surely much better than Britney Spears or Lady Gaga, right? (In case no body is Agnes hater is reading my writing, hahaha...) It is just the matter of natural chance Agnes does not have. What I am believing now is that everybody is just the same, what diferentiate them is their luck, and well, their effort as well. But luck does matter!
In the end, we are going to ask what is JUSTICE? What does justice mean for Him? Why we need to do justice if He creates the injustice? Why does justice seem so far away from the unlucky people? Why and why is life (sometimes) unfair? I am on my way to find the answer.
Why???
Why???
Why???
Cause you will never understand something well if you never ask WHY. It is ok if you are different, or even it is going against the rule. Cause we are rational. Do not let anyone dim your light, your dreams, just because of their luck. In this case I upheld the Machiavelli’s thought that deceiving your opponent is accepted if you found it is required in the intereset of yours. A bit cynical, yet you choose your option, you choose what you want to be. And I am standing on my own, questioning why these all happen. No matter what people think cause I’m not lucky, and I hate those who said I’m lucky. Even though I’m lucky, it is not something to be proud of. Cause being lucky for me is like being a bird without wings, always waiting God’s hand to help you.
Do find your justice, and don’t use up your luck from your luck pouch! *in case what Bocup said is true.
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